Turn Out The Lights. The Party's Over.

And on this first Tuesday of 2011, Hippest Snippets bids you adieu.

Hippest Snippets started as a joint venture between two really ambitious people that wanted to bring notoriety to all the great blogs that are out there. Over the past six months our readers were filled with funny, serious, and truly disturbing posts that made it a joy to open them everyday. But lately we've noticed that our lives have gotten in the way of reading each and every post. Believe it or not it is really intensive to read over 300 posts a day and we weren't doing our best work. So for now we are closing shop. We need a break to see our boyfriends, girlfriends, and, more importantly, be able to read What Would Tyler Durden Do. We may be back one day, but for now we need a breather. We loved everything you wrote and we did read everything no matter how long or short it was. We appreciate all the kind words you had for us. Unless you had no kind words. Then you can go to hell.

We leave you with these inspirational words we heard once that we think apply here:

I like the way you make me laugh
I like the funny things you do
You've got a style that's all your own
I like the Sprite in you.

Antoine Dodson + Bobby Flay = Pee in a Pit

So, to recap, I’m paying exorbitant amounts of rent money to live alone in an apartment building where thieves break into your living room via your patio and yet the building doesn’t allow you to have anything on the patio to create an obstacle course for the thieves because it’s against the goddamn safety code and then even if you do decide to put things on your patio anyway, people fucking pee all over it.

Alright Antoine Dodson, you’re up.
-More is Better

First and foremost, per my sister, the show should actually just be called: FUCK YOU, I'M BOBBY FLAY! And every week on FUCK YOU, I'M BOBBY FLAY!, Bobby Flay leaves New York to go to Small-Town America where he finds an old woman who, as the Nazis were dragging her out of her family's cottage in Soskut, managed to grab the stock-splattered recipe card for her grandmother's famous goulash in her young, trembling fingers and clutch it tightly to her breast for the remainder of the war, so someday it could be passed down to her children, and her children's children, and her children's children's children, to keep those simple country days around her grandmother's hearth alive.
-2 Birds 1 Blog

Snips For The Holidays

We are snipping our internet for now so we can enjoy some quality family time. And/or get last-minute presents. And/or complain about how nothing's open on Christmas for us Jews. And/or prepare our dance moves for Kwanzaa.

Whichever is your style, do it well. Then write about it. Then we'll snip it.

Toodaloo,

Hip Snips

Caviar and Toenails While Watching Lifetime

Everywhere you turn this week someone will ask you what you’re doing for New Year’s and your answer will vary depending on your mood.

Older than 30 response – “ Why can’t we just have a small house party, eat some caviar, talk about the new healthcare policy, and debate the new export laws that Japanese ports have put in? I can bring over this documentary I rented about the extinction of Asian elephants! Can I borrow your turtleneck?”
-I Wear T-Shirts...Sometimes

One night at dinner my husband mentioned an ingrown toenail. At the dinner table. While we were eating dinner. In case there is any question about what we were doing at the dinner table at the time he mentioned his ingrown toenail, we were eating. Dinner.
-Aiming Low

I typically don't bring up this fact right away, lest I seem like that girl. The one who makes her cats wear tutus and holds tea parties with saucers of milk on Friday nights while watching Lifetime TV movies starring Jennifer Love Hewitt.
-A Martini Always Helps

Driving In Starbucks With A Bad Purse

I immediately got into the right lane because I did NOT want to be behind this ass clown. And if you want to turn the tables on me, saying I wasn't exactly practicing safe driving by pulling out my phone and taking a pic during a blizzard? I say screw you for trying to ruin my rant.
-Simple Dude in a Complex World

But despite my pontificating, God help me, I love Starbucks. I want to live a Starbuck's life, in Starbuckistan, if you will. Perhaps you are familiar with its evil twin, Clusterfuckistan, where sewage comes out of your shower and nothing is made in a size larger than zero. Now, proving that there truly IS a silver lining to every clusterfuck, Starbuckistan appears on the horizon. A magical place where if you want 2/3 inch of foam on your nonfat, sugar-free pumpkin spice latte and they give you 1/3 inch of foam, not only do they cheerfully exchange it, they apologize. And they give you a coupon for a free coffee next time.
-Dr. Strangemom

Purses are like shoes. Some women seem to know a lot about them, and care a lot about them, and have a lot of them, and other women, like me, somehow grow up with the mistaken impression that they are the least important part of an outfit. Women like me think it doesn’t matter if you carry a badly stained turquoise canvas bag that says “Hospice of Somerset” on it instead of a Dolce & Gabbana handbag with compartments and presence. We think that the sneakers our father bought us when we were thirteen are fine to wear on the plane on our fourth date with the man we will someday marry.
-Eat the Damn Cake